What it’s like to have chronic back pain

I have had back pain for 4 years now. It effects my everyday life. Having physical therapy once a week, doctor appointments and hospital visits.

I have been to 6 different doctors and every single one of them tells me different reasons why my back is hurting. I have grown too fast which leads to my muscles being too weak. I have a bad posture, rounded shoulders, a tilted pelvic. I have a curve in my spine. And so on.

It is so frustrating. Because why can’t I work for more than 2 hours like normal people? Why can’t I have a fun day out without my back hurting? Prepping everyday. Taping my back, a heating pad, pain killers. I want to do all these activities, but physically I just can’t.

Sometimes I feel so alone. The pain can be so bad that I cry myself to sleep. And I have to get up the next day and do it all over again. Sometimes the emotional pain is far worse than the physical pain.

I hope there will be a day where I can find the cause of my back pain. But it doesn’t feel like that day will be close. I pray that my back pain will not get any worse. I will try to keep a positive attitude and be grateful for the things I can do.

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